(Meghan is one of our boot campers...she has a particular style you have to read to believe. Meghan has been attending South Shore Fit Body Boot Camp since January of 2017, and despite her 'wit' about boot camp sessions, she loves how it is helping her build strength and functional movement)
⚠️ Warning - Adult Language in Use ⚠️
Yesterday we celebrated “Christmas in July” at bootcamp. Christmas. In. July. First of all, I FRICKIN LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!!! I love everything about it. Decorating. Stockings. Cookies. Shopping. Baking. Wrapping. The Nativity. Santa. Christmas movies. Hot chocolate. Family. Snow. Trees. ALL OF IT (except for Christmas music…whatever. Don’t judge me.)
Today’s Christmas in July was the DIRECT OPPOSITE of the Christmas I know and love. You know what it was?? It was the same old ass-kicking, but with prettier, Christmas themed exercise boards.
Christmas bootcamp got off to a rocky start for this lady right here. I overslept. I didn’t wake up until 4:46am, which means I had exactly 14 minutes to brush my teeth, find a red shirt, get my pants on without tipping over, and drive like Vin Diesel in "The Fast and the Furious" in order to get to the gym on time.
I all but glided, Tokyo Drift style, into a parking spot, with one minute to spare. Alright, so I didn’t exactly glide into the spot, as much as I had to attempt backing in TWO +FRICKIN+ TIMES. By the way, think we can we teach me how to properly back into a parking space during one of these classes?? That might be time well spent…
I jogged in right as the reindeer games were beginning. By all accounts the session started out ok!
Giant balls, squats, and jumping jacks. All things I can do, not necessarily well, but definitely without looking like a gigantic jackass. I was surrounded by fellow bootcampers in their happy red and green clothes (and one bootcamper in amazing gingerbread men leggings.
You know who you are, and your attire was on point, friend!) The first few minutes of class were a DELIGHT! Oh how quickly it went from Christmas in July to Hell in a Hand basket.
Station 2 was the real kick in the junk. SLIDERS. If we’ve done bootcamp together on a sliders’ day, there’s a 99% chance I’ve sworn audibly, thrown something, or given a real dirty look when the sliders come out. Sliders are these stupid, slippery pads you put on your feet to make an exercise more difficult. MORE DIFFICULT. WHY?!?! Yesterday’s slider exercise?? Piking. That’s when you get in a high plank and slide your legs up to meet your hands in front and then in a controlled fashion, slide your legs back again to high plank position. Sure. No problem. Let me get right on that….
One of Santa’s elves (aka a trainer) came over and knelt in front of me as I struggled to get my sliders in place. Whatever was about to come out of her mouth was going to be straight up badness. I just knew it. True to my intuition, the trainer smiled so, so sweetly, right before she told me to add a pushup to the pike exercise. **FULL DISCLOSURE---this was my penance for my antics the day before when I called this trainer the “f” word. No, not that “f” word. Something MUCH, MUCH worse. I called her, “FIFTY". She’s no where near that; hence the vicious payback. PS, Trainer lady, in case you’re reading this, IT WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT.
Got through those Bad Larries WITH the added push-up, thank you very much. Then it was onto the SECOND exercise at this station, which had an
adorable name like, “Grinch 1/2 get ups” or something cutesy-tootise like that. In actuality, it probably should have been called “SON OF A WHORE” because that’s what I yelled when I attempted these half sit-up. They involved kettle bells, sit ups, straight arms, bent legs. That’s as far as I’m delving in…I’ve spent the last 24 hours trying to erase them from my memory.
I made it through the rest of the holiday session, barely..... Sweating profusely like you read about in a medical journal, shaky legs, and pure exhaustion. BUT, I did it; I survived Christmas in July bootcamp!! And, that’s when I learned there was one more present under the tree.
An AMRAP. This fabulous little acronym stands for As Many Reps As Possible, and it’s a 3-5 minute INTENSE overtime with a few exercises to get the heart rate up JUST IN CASE I didn’t quite feel like death warmed over yet.
Don’t be fooled by my witty Christmas play on words. AMRAP is NO gift. I can only appropriately compare it to asking Santa for a Barbie Dream House, and instead, finding a decapitated Barbie under the tree with all her hair chopped off. AMRAP is like that.
Final thoughts on Christmas in July Bootcamp... it is NOT all it’s cracked up to be. You know the saying, “You can put lipstick on a pig”? Well, they tried dressing up bootcamp, throwing on a little lipstick, and mixing it with one of the most joy-inducing, happiest events of the year (aka Christmas). Nope. It’s still a frickin ASS KICKING. I feel like I got whooped with a candy cane and run over by all 8 reindeer. FA LA LA LA LA. Holy crap.
I will see you all tomorrow, and I can't wait for The Next Friday Funday!! It is a Disney Princess inspired workout..... I’m expecting some Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo-badness, and I know Leon and the SSFBBC trainers won’t disappoint!!
If you want in on this, check out this opportunity to do 2-weeks of bootcamp....that includes two Friday Fundays!!!